Why Retreat?

I was talking to my Dad on the phone yesterday and he was asking me what a Retreat is. His experience of a retreat was from Church when he was a teenager. They would go on “retreat” and all he could remember about it was singing in the choir and chasing girls. So, no Dad, not that kind of retreat …

But that made me think, why the word “retreat”? What are we retreating from? From where, to what? Retreat as a word usually has a bit of a bad rap - giving up, running away … so what’s so glorious and different about a women’s Retreat?

For me, it’s about retreating from the everyday version of myself that is thinking about mahi, watching the clock, looking after whānau, doing chores, looking at the overgrown garden with regret … the me that makes a thousand tiny decisions every day to conduct my life. The me that tries really hard and feels urgency and somewhere deep down is really scared to fail.

On retreat, all of that is removed. Someone else has curated the environment, the rhythm of the day, the menu, even the people around me. My only choices are a simple yes or no to whatever is offered.

And a new me is able to emerge. The me that is a Be-ing, not a Do-ing. It gives me a chance to remember my innate okay-ness. The potential to connect to the natural world and the people around me with a loosened sense of self. Not as my professional or personal identity. No effort, no striving, no achievement, no status. Just a be-ing.

And from this expansiveness usually comes a renewed sense of

Wholeness

Optimism

Connection

Creativity

Vigor

Inspiration

And I return to my life ready to dive in, with a lingering cloak of “I am enough” to cherish and invite to stay.

I’ve done lots of different kinds of retreats: complementary healing, yoga, meditation, creativity, choral. More than the content, what I remember is the exceptional people I’ve met, and the possibility of resetting back to “factory settings”.

It’s such a deep joy to offer space for other women to also shed the Do-ing and luxuriate in Be-ing, in community. I can actually see it happening, the relaxing into the spaciousness. The collective out-breath.

How could you give yourself this experience? I’d recommend going away from home. Let someone else be the planner. And it doesn’t have to be work or goal-oriented. I’m not talking about professional development, getting a new qualification, or a “detox”. You could choose based on a place you want to be, a teacher you want to experience directly, or a group of people that you want to be with. Choose something bite-sized or dive in for a whole week, close to home or somewhere new. Fancy or down-to-earth. Look ahead - what could you put in your diary now that would be a delicious gift to yourself?

If this is calling to you, you would be very welcome to join me and Bridget Schaeffers at the Waihōanga Nature Resort from 9-11 October for Wholehearted, a Women’s Nature Retreat. We have some solo and shared accommodation left, and still at earlybird prices.

Whatever you choose, go gently and kindly with your good selves.

x Heather